The Ultimate Guide to Your Twenties
The twenties may very well be the most confusing decade of your life. People feel this way often because there is not a “set path” for your in your twenties. Unlike earlier years that are marked by clear coming of age moments and rights of passage, the twenties seem like a wide open field of possibilities.
What if I told you, however, that your twenties aren’t as free from structure as you think? In fact, the twenties follow a few distinct movements, and just about everyone I know has followed these movements (albeit not at exactly the same time) but rather closely. These movements are:
Transitioning to adulthood
Exploration
Transitioning to 30 and beyond.
We’ll dive more in-depth to each of these categories and explore how it is you’ll be likely to move through them. So no matter where you are at in your twenties (even 29 – there’s still more to do!) you can find yourself in one of these movements, or maybe even more than one at a time.
Transitioning into Adulthood 20-22
Although this stage starts even earlier (as early as 17 or so), you really are in the thick of it between 20 and 22. You might feel like an adolescent still. In many ways, you still are. Your brain hasn’t fully finished developing (it doesn’t fully develop until around 25), and the world is full of possibilities.
At this stage, likely you’re just holding on for dear life, soaking in each moment of the seemingly infinite freedom and possibilities that lie ahead in adulthood. Your main boslters at this point, however, are your support system. Likely you are still surrounded by friends or family or a mixture of the both. As you head further into your twenties, many of these support systems will have to fall away. You’ll say goodbye to your college friends, and you’ll have to navigate new waters.
2. Exploration and Commitment 23-27
The bulk of your twenties can be seen as falling in this section. It’s an odd time balancing between exploring your interests, your environment, and relationships more intensely than you’ve had the freedom and time to do before. The most difficult thing about this phase will be balancing the need for freedom that youth demands while also still building towards your future.
Ultimately, your twenties are the bedrock on which the rest of your life will be made, so this phase can feel like a lot of pressure for young people. The world sends you plenty of mixed signals – have a family at this age, party like a fiend, travel, pay off your debt – there are a plethora of options you can choose from.
At this phase, your main job is to balance all of these contradictions while building towards your future self – a job you’ll love, a relationship, and all the things that come later in life.
3. The Big Transition
A big shocker – 30 is actually not old. In many ways 30 is a prime time of life. As you near it, at about 28, you’ll be focusing more and more on the life that you need to have past the wonderful decade of your twenties.
What you’ll find, however, is that 30 and early thirties is actually still part of your young adulthood. During this time, twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings will be looking to get more serious about their commitments. Many will make dramatic shifts, getting married, or diving deeper into their jobs. It can also be a time of great anxiety for many, as you’ll be thinking back on your decade, taking the good and the bad and reshaping it into something that your future self will like.
